Best of 2007 Anime Awards, Day 1 - The Cream of the Crap
Posted by 0rion on December 26th, 2007 - 5:00 am
Wai~! Wai~!
Another year has come and gone, and with it a number of excellent and entertaining shows. It brought moments that made us roll with laughter, moments that made us shed manly tears, moments that made us smile and nod, moments that healed our spirits, and moments that made us thrust our hands into the air, finger upraised, pointing to the heavens.
Thus, in recognition of our favorite series from throughout the last 12 months, we are very proud to present to you the 27th Annual Epic Win Best of the Year Anime Award Show!
In this segment we discuss a number of notable shows from 2007, and give out awards to those series that we feel are the most deserving. Some are serious, some are silly, and some are just for fun.
Speaking of just for fun…as you may have already guessed from the title, this first day of the awards is our own tongue-in-cheek equivalent of the Razzies, acknowledging the best of the worst and the worst of the best - the Cream of the Crap, if you will.
Don’t think just because we’re talking about epic failure that things can’t get competitive. It was difficult to catalog the most embarrassingly awful moments in the past year, but through meticulous effort we’ve managed to come up with the biggest facepalm inducing catastrophes of ‘07.
Most Emo Series
Winner: Dragonaut
“I’m so ronery…”
“GIIIIIIIOOOOOOO!!”
“TOOOOAAAAAAA!”
If you could find a way to harness all the energy the cast of Dragonzo Dragonauts puts into emocrying you would solve the world’s energy crisis overnight. I won’t even waste time going into detail about it, because the good folks over at WTF?! Anime Blog have already hit that nail squarely on the head in their “Emonaut Thumbnail Theatre” segment.
And if any doubt remained about whether Dragonzo Dragonauts deserved this award, it was settled with the discovery of Kazuki’s secret diary.
Now let me tell you, besting Gundam 00 in the wretched emo whining department is quite the feat. If it wasn’t such a dubious honor I would say Gonzo ought to be proud.
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Best Trap
Winner: Mako-chan, Minami-ke
“Iyaaaaa~”
Genshiken 2 definitely had its moments, but you just can’t beat Mako’s incessant mishaps with three Minami sisters, especially after Haruka’s epic groping scene.
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Worst Trap
Winner: Saito Ayumi-chan, Shion ni Ou
“Look out! It’s a trap!”
Someone should probably notify Admiral Ackbar for this one…I mean seriously.
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Beigest Butts
Winner: Ghost Hound
“I like…beige butts and I cannot lie…”
What does it take to completely annihilate the heart pounding, spine tingling intensity of Shirow Masamune’s Ghost Hound? How about an obnoxious dosage of baboon-like buttocks of the beige variety? Who made this decision, honestly, and how on earth was it decided?
“All right people, what can we do to really amplify the unsettling and surreal nature of the spirit world?”
“Hmmm…how about disproportionate infant bodies with large heads and blaringly beige posteriors?”
“That’s genius Yamada-san! Get an animator on that pronto!”
*sigh*
I honestly was so caught up in the mood that I didn’t even notice this minor detail until Martin at The End of the World went on a mini-rant about it… but now that I’ve seen it, I can no longer unsee. O_O
The beige butts haunt my dreams and nightmares…
Character Who Most Needed More Screentime
Winner: Misao, Lucky Star
Runners-up: Patricia Martin (Lucky Star), Mare (Shakugan no Shana II)
“3 second rule!”
All of the Lucky Star secondary cast needed more screentime and character development, really, but Misao was especially neglected. This was made all the more frustrating by the fact that what little time she did have on screen was awesome. She’s quirky and silly, has an awesome voice, and most importantly she has FANG POWER! How did this get combo overlooked?!
In terms of return on investment, Misao and Patricia Martin were easily the two strongest performers; although they didn’t get much time on screen, they had me rolling on the floor whenever they were.
Now in all honesty, you could easily make a case for Patty-chan or Kuroi-sensei as well, but Misao is just a character ripe for development. I mean, if you have a great character, why not give her a more integral part in the plot? Granted, Lucky Star was not a prime example of classic narrative structure but still, where’s the love? The fang! THE FANG, YOU FOOLS!
I’m also a fan of the Shakugan no Shana DS visual novel, so I was very excited to learn that the exclusive character Mare (メア) from the game would be making an appearance. Unfortunately, she was wasted on a simple one-shot as a monster-of-the-week villain.
Although not on the same level as Misao and Patty-chan, as an awesome character whose potential was squandered, she’s definitely worth an honorable mention.
Best “Oh Shit Not As Planned!” Moment
This award goes to the character who demonstrated the most stunningly epic fail, who represents the antithesis of everything that is Yagami Light, who serves as a textbook example of Robert Burns’ statement that “The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.”
Winner: Ike, Shakugan no Shana II
Not as planned…
Ralphing in front of the girl you like, who you had planned to confess to, while stuck at the top of a ferris wheel has got to be one of the most horribly embarrassing things a man can experience. And after all the intricate planning Ike put into the theme park trip, this surely qualifies as one of the best “Oh shit not as planned!” moments of all time.
Poor Ike. You know, if you have a predisposition towards motion sickness, a ferris wheel is probably not the most ideal environment to confess your undying love for someone. Might want to factor that into your plan next time, buddy. And poor Yoshida!
Most Likely To Result in a Visit from Chris Hansen
Winner: Kodomo no Jikan
Moe-tan was also a strong contender, but really no other show can match Kodomo no Jikan on the creepy scale.
I’ve already thoroughly covered my opinion on this series, so let’s just leave it at that and move on briskly, before this becomes terribly awkward…
This show should just be titled “Shameless Pedo-bait no Jikan”.
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Foulest Foodstuff
Winner: Kiviak, Moyashimon
Runners-up: Nia’s Cooking (Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann), Nice Cabbage (Shakugan no Shana II), Cream Stew (Minami-ke)
Tastes just like chicken…
All right, let’s examine this for a bit: you stuff a dead seal’s innards with seagulls. Then you bury it…bury it, mind you. Then later you dig it back up and drink the fermented innards, using their sphincters like a straw?! Just…I mean, how… Dear God…why??
This was definitely the most freakishly bizarre thing I’ve seen in an anime all year, and with Dragonauts in the mix that’s saying a lot. Normally something like Nia’s victory feast or Wilhelmina’s cabbage roll would walk away with the prize, but then Moyashimon came along and everything I knew was thrown out the window.
And of course, Simon ate Nia’s cooking and seemed just fine, so perhaps it wasn’t all that bad. Maybe Rossiu was just lacking in spiral antibodies.
Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t throw out an honorable mention for the intrepid culinary adventures of one Minami Kana, in recognition of her pièce de résistance (literally!) - Cream Stew. 
Best Shameless Product Placement
Winner: Pizza Hut pizza
Runners-up: Choco cornet, melonpan
When Pizza Hut approached Sunrise to negotiate a bit of product placement, they were only expecting a few pizza logos in the background here and there. The animation team loved the idea so much, however, that they ran with it, incorporating it into the script in many ways. And now you know the story of how Code Geass became so cheesy.
Fortunately for Pizza Hut, cheesy or not, their campaign has become a viral marketing hit. And apparently it’s working out pretty well for them, too.
Not only do these kinds of marketing tactics subtly influence our opinions, they also present a number of deep philosophical conundrums. For example:
Choco cornets - which end do you eat from? The top or the bottom? In 500 words or less, please provide a detailed description with at least three reasons advocating your decision.
Melonpan - if you pack dozens of melonpan into a box, does that qualify it as a bento? And how does it retain its fluffy shape, anyway?
Pizza Hut - if C.C. eats a pizza in the forest, and no one is around to hear, does her butt still get fat? 
And speaking of pizza…
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Best Non-Combat Use of Mecha
Winner: Pizza Flipping, Code Geass
It’s all in the wrists.
It also slices and dices! And if you call now we’ll include a free Slash Harken and a teakwood backscratcher! All for only 46 easy payments of 999,999 Britannian dollars!
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Biggest Letdown
Winner: Gundam 00
Runners-up: Zero no Tsukaima, Shana II
Behold! I have hair!
Holy Mother of FAIL, what have they done to my beloved Gundam? It’s like watching the Star Wars prequels, or the Godfather part III, or any film by Michael Bay. It’s just a miserable maligning of the original story to such a point that you can only look on in horror at the disfigured, tattered remains of your once beloved laying in ruins.
Oh well, hopefully it will end soon. Then we may all shout “Hallelujah Haptism!”
Other notable disappointments this year include Agnes no Tsukaima, who was apparently so upset about Trogdor burninating her villages that she had to hijack half the season to resolve her personal issues, and Shakugan no School Days, which has basically been one huge filler arc so far.
Best Emo Facial Distortion
Winner: Shiraishi Minoru, Lucky Star
Runner-up: The Entire Cast of Code Geass
Under any other circumstances, a show with as many emo dysfunctional characters as Code Geass would win this award hands down. Shiraishi’s epic episode 21 rampage, however, was on a completely different level in the emo facial distortion department. How do you even compete?
The man reduced the Lucky Channel set to rubble faster than you can say, “Wa-wa-wa-wasuremono!” Even the J.C. Staff scriptwriters don’t have that kind of destructive capability!
Miki would be proud, yessir.
This was unquestionably one of the funniest moments of Lucky Channel. Seeing Shiraishi thoroughly dominate the entire set was so gratifying. I mean, he just goes apeshit on everyone and everything! Priceless. Who knew he had it in him?
Most Spectacular Trainwreck
Winner: Code Geass
Runner-up: Dragonauts
Will there ever be another trainwreck as epic as Code Geass? Probably, but it might not come in our lifetimes.
The series started off well enough, a seemingly dark and serious tale of international intrigue and supernatural abilities. And then it nose-dived faster than a French footballer.
It was like an Olympic diver making an elegant, graceful backflip off of the high dive, only to spiral out of control moments later, awkwardly descending ever more rapidly toward the ground, legs askew and arms windmilling helplessly, until finally making a sickening bellyflop into the water at the end.
And the result? Somehow pure genius. A brilliant mix of intentional comedy, unintentional comedy, action, drama, romance, and pure unadulterated WTF that should have been a recipe for disaster…well ok, it was still a recipe for disaster, but it was a really good disaster!
You ever see an impending collision, but don’t have any way to react or to prevent it? Well, sometimes the result can actually be pretty gratifying. Code Geass is case in point.
The show was a series of ever escalating WTF moments, each one more facepalm inducing than the last.
Just consider: Fantastic emo facial distortion…
More dysfunctional characters than you can shake a Maser Vibration Sword at…
Psycho Geass rampages…
“Orange janai!!”
Orange-kun and the Spinning Mecha Yo-Yo of Death…
And of course the final over-the-top cliffhanger of an ending that leaves all the tension up in the air and none of the loose ends resolved…and all of that after making fans wait months for the season finale. Not to mention countless other stunning moments, such as Nina’s shocking escapades in episode 12, and Shirley getting Geassed shortly thereafter.
Completely epic on a completely different level, Code Geass was one of those rare shows that didn’t just jump the shark…it jumped it over and over and over again, making a spectacle out of it, flaunting it. If a regular trainwreck series is like two freight trains inadvertently ending up on a collision course, Code Geass is setting up 20 trains in a giant converging spiral and then gleefully stepping back to watch the result. And we loved every minute of it, oh yes.
It truly is beyond compare, and thus without a doubt deserving of the title Trainwreck of the Year.
Haha, nice listing.
The only thing I wouldn’t really agree 100% on is Code Geass being a trainwreck, as it had some really splendid moments that save it from me classifying it as a trainwreck.
But maa~~ I do understand why it deserves being awarded with the trainwreck title, but then most Sunrise titles are just things that you know are going to be horrible, but yet, you still can’t stop yourself watching them.
luckily CLANNAD didnt win any prize… It’s definitely one of the the best animes in 2007!
re: Kiviak. You forgot to mention that, not only it’s a real food, it’s actually a delicacy (although, I don’t think it’s actually eaten *that way*).
As for Code Geass, yeah it’s a trainwreck, but it’s a fun trainwreck.
I can’t decide whether Code Geass is a trainwreck or a rollercoaster, but I will admit to it being the highlight of my anime year (and if anyone ever calls me a snob, I’ll point them to that).
How is ‘Best Trap’ a bad award to get?
I think Best trap is not really a bad award, but more like a funny award. I do agree that Mako-chan is a good trap, though Seiko in Lovely Complex is quite close too X_X.
I actually dropped ghost hound due to the awful round balloony ghosts. They turn me off way too much.
Poor Misao and Patty, two of the better characters of the series that didn’t receive enough air time. Fang and gaijin power lol. Poor Ike, but I hope thats the last of that, I want more of Shana fighting that should be happening from now on. The cabbage from Shana was pretty interesting, especially with all the toothpicks inside of it. You don’t know melon pan until you go to Japan lol.
@ Kurogane
Well, don’t get me wrong. I still love Code Geass. It’s just so deliciously wrong and that you can’t possibly hate it.
@ Fortman
Absolutely, good point! It is very much a real world dish, and that much weirder for it. Although I’m sure that someone, somewhere out there in this wide world… is also eating cream stew right now.
@ IKnight
As Impz said, it’s just for fun. You should know by now not to take us too seriously.
@ AS
“You don’t know melon pan until you go to Japan lol.”
Why, what are you trying to say?
Ehh … I wrote a rapturous review of Geass for my favourite forum five minutes after finishing the show and now really, really wish I hadn’t. It’s still a fun show but about an inch deep, and wanders quite considerably into pure daftness. Luckily there are so few anime diehards there that only one person picked it up, so I dodged a bullet somewhat.
My bigging up of Lucky Star and Moyashimon has gone over a little better - and talking of the latter, I demand a recount in the Best Trap category. Compelling a good section of 4chan to question their own sexuality (rather other people’s as normal) has got to be worth some kind of public service award.
I knew Code Geass was going to suck from the minute I saw the character art. Any show in which all the important characters have pointy chins is guaranteed to be terrible.
you had me laughing nonstop at all those awards!
FANG POWER.
Bah! Every year Sunrise releases a “Biggest Trainwreck of the Year”!
Code Geass isn’t a trainwreck. It’s a total disaster! But a very good disaster, even if I hated how most of it turned out. How can anyone else match Euphie’s shooting spree and dramatic death, and Lelouch’s cold heart for willing to make full use of that scenario for his own gain.
Mako-chan is best trap that’s for sure XD And we really could have used more of Misao too. Fang power FTW!
By the way, the original Fang-tan still rocks.
NYORO! Tsuruya-sama \o/
I really liked this post
I cannot wait to hear what the next set of awards are!!
My favorite one was the foulest foodstuffs, awarded to one of my new favorite shows Moyashimon
Go Microbes!!
@ A Transfer
“I demand a recount…”
OK, here we go. I count one vote from me, aaaand one vote from Guff. No hanging chads…check! Yup, looks like the award stays! ;P
@ Steven Den Beste
Well, to be fair, I don’t have any problem with CLAMP’s character designs, and I’ve enjoyed other series featuring their artwork. But you’re right that the art style added a lot to the trainwreck factor in Code Geass.
@ Hiyuu
Glad you enjoyed it! We always try to not take ourselves too seriously here, ya know?
@ jpmeyer
There is definitely a lot of truth to this. Still, Code Geass is noteworthy even by Sunrise standards!
@ Nekonron
Yeah, the trouble with Code Geass is that it’s so ridiculous, yet it becomes very poignant and moving under the right circumstances, so you can’t just write it off as a terrible series. It’s one of those shows that’s so bad it’s good.
Also fang power yeah!
@ Impz
Oh, of course! No one can match the FANG POWER of the true Fang-tan! Come to think of it, she’s the real character who needed more screentime this year, sheesh!
@ Zeke
“Kamosu zo!”
@0rion : “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities. Truth isn’t.” — Mark Twain
As for Sunrise shows being trainwrecks. Well, Once in a while they do produce non-trainwreck. Planetes comes to mind. It’s rare, but it’s there.
I guess “trainwreck” must mean something else in your book (no way is Code Geass worse than Dragonaut, using any sensible criteria I could come up with), but whatever…your blog, your choice. Enjoy.
@ Weils
Oh, I absolutely agree that Code Geass was way better than Dragonaut, by every metric imaginable.
It was a great show, without a doubt, but also incredibly ridiculous on so many levels. I think I must have facepalmed at least half a dozen times per episode, but I also watched it about as religiously as I followed any series this year. I would definitely recommend Code Geass to anyone who has a high suspension of disbelief threshold.
That said, the plot are the animation are just…wow. Trainwreck is the only word I can think of that comes close to adequately describing it.
As others have said, it’s what Sunrise does best.
@ Fortman
Well done; Mark Twain quotes in an anime blog comment? It’s more likely than you think!
I think Planetes had a few issues of its own, but you’re right that Sunrise has put out a some shows that you can actually take semi-seriously.
Let me take a step back and rephrase my thoughts a bit.
I never said Code Geass wasn’t very ridiculous and cheesy. It is, far more times than one could count. The show is guilty as charged there, definitely, even if it does have some good qualities and I enjoyed the overall result (not the final cliffhanger itself, however, unspeakable as it is). You could say I’m a fan, but not a blind one.
Just that I couldn’t really see it being as bad as Dragonaut, if that’s what the trainwreck moniker implied. Maybe I just didn’t understand that conclusion / that use of the term, more than anything else. It made me feel a bit touchy, I guess.
Btw, would you consider, say, Infinite Ryvius a trainwreck? It’s from the same director as CG (as is Planetes, heh), but it’s older and different enough. But it’s Sunrise.
@ Weils
Geh…I keep waiting for you to stop editing your comment so I know what to reply to. >_>
Basically, it sounds like the misunderstanding was in our use of the term “trainwreck”. To me, a trainwreck is a show that makes you cringe whenever you watch it, yet like a real trainwreck, you just can’t stop watching. It draws you in, and even though you keep telling yourself, “This is so ridiculous,” you keep on watching anyway.
It’s bad, yes…so bad that’s it’s awesome.
As StrongBad once asked, “What kind of powers do you have? Do you use them for good, or for awesome?”
In Sunrise’s case, I think the answer is a hearty, “Awesome!” Possibly packaged together with an emo distortion face and a new Ja-pan recipe.
As for your question, I haven’t seen the Infinite Ryvius anime, I only read the manga, so I can’t really say.
well, we all saw it coming…
CLAMP + Sunrise = bad idea
New Gundam= Amuro rolling in the grave.
It’s not like any Gundam series is extremely different from the original at its core. It’s just that lately there’s no more manly tears and enthralling drama, just good excuses for yaoi action. All I can do is pray that Gundam 00 gets more thrilling political drama and kickass mecha fight scenes, not more crying. Please, get better and redeem your name!
[…] year has been an excellant year of anime. I will post a best of 07 soon… as soon as Orion and Guff stop being so damn awesome. « Gunbuster and Diebuster: Thoughts | […]
[…] 0rion pointed out, Code Geass is the most spectacular trainwreck you’ve ever seen. It’s one that is so well pulled off, you end up really hating what […]
You might not be aware, but, if I understand it right, Steven included the pointy chin into one of his (in)famous heuristics. Basically the task is to figure if anime is going to suck without watching (much). Since Steven is one of those proudly R1 obsessed people, he stands to lose significant amount of money by buying crap DVDs. Now you see how important it is to make judgements on imperfect basis.
BTW, not all of it is a snake oil. I ran some stats for the 13/26 heuristic myself using my own DVD stash as a sample and there is a strong correlation indeed.
And I know you’ve covered Kodomo no Jikan, but I’ve got to say, it’s not all about loli. It’s a heart-wrenchingly tragic but beautiful story… It’s just buried under pedo-pleasing stuff. And I’ll never watch Moe Tan… not after seeing that old fart buy the figure… I mean, sure, my Tsuruya-san-love is rather creepy, but that little girl from Moetan… That’s just scary.
[…] an unrelated topic, Epic Win had a post about Misao needing more screentime, which I totally agree with. Her voice is made of awesomeness with a touch of earthy fragrance and […]
lawl that was a great read keep it up
Wow yet another Sunrise bashing blog. When will they stop. I also don’t understand how one can call a series that is half over a trainwreck, but by all means go ahead and bash away. Also amazing is how you picked a series that wasn’t even a fifth done at the time of writing this as the biggest disappointment of the year. Are you picking your awards by what studio is doing things or what here?
The fact that you seem to think Code Geasses story is finished and are completely unaware of the second season shows me how well this was researched.
Way to go with shallow explanations on the awards. This might have actually been interesting had you even bothered to get into a *little* more detail about why this series gets that, especially for the “trainwreck”, the “letdown” and the “screentime” portions.
Did I mention a “little”? So sorry. Go do some research.
[…] Guff and I awarded Code Geass with the “Trainwreck of the Year” award in our 2007 Anime Awards Show, many people took offense, rushing to defend what they claimed was an excellent show worthy of […]