Engrish T-Shirts
Posted by 0rion on January 17th, 2008 - 11:30 pm
It’s been a while since our last humorous entry, and we haven’t talked about Japan much since our post about Junky Healthy Taco Rice and other fun Engrish stuff, so we thought a good way to kill two birds with one stone would be to show you guys some of the funny Engrish-style T-shirts those crazy Japanese have cooked up.
Dental hygiene is of extremely great in portance in Japan. Whilst I was perusing the various and sundry clothing shops scattered throughout Harajuku, I came upon this incredible shirt. It’s awfully rare to find a T-shirt that so unilaterally implores others to follow societal mores, really. Come to think of it, I think teeth are often undervalued in our society…well, or maybe that’s just England?
Nevertheless, it serves as a good reminder. Also, check out that bad tooth - do all cavities have such a huge bite taken out of them? Thankfully, they provided three standard teeth to allow for comparison. Gosh, I love this shirt so much.
Ordinary Japanese people of all ages can be seen everywhere with hilarious T-shirts like this - everyone from teenagers to salarymen to middle-aged housewives. I’ve even seen little kids with shirts like these, some of which made some, ahh…rather bold statements. And of course, neither they nor their parents had any idea of the meaning.
In fact, most of the them have absolutely no clue what the shirts they’re wearing say. Take this guy, for example:
Don’t be a Dick, YOU BANANA
Seriously, don’t do it. Actually, I’m not sure whether to be more insulted that he’s calling me a dick or that he’s calling me a banana.
A few more horribly overpriced but funny random shirts spotted while shopping in Harajuku:
Bear hate Ronald! Katakana reads: “Bear Claw”
Well, I honestly never thought I’d find myself cheering on pedobear. Seriously though, it’s about time someone taught that freakish clown some manners. Serves him right for peddling carcinogenic foodstuffs to innocent, unwitting children.
Much like Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, several of these shirts employed somewhat dark, morbid humor to great effect.
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I’d love to wear one of these things to a PETA meeting; I’m thinking it might cause the members to lighten up a bit.
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Yeah…either that or they’d kill you on the spot. And considering the near-rabid nature of most of the PETA members I’ve know, I’m leaning toward the latter, really.
OK, now for a few of the shirts we’ve bought in Japan:
Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!
Not quite Engrish, per se, but humorous enough that I thought it warranted sharing. I spotted this on the rack at one of the many tiny clothing shops in Harajuku and bought it on the spot. I couldn’t resist; it’s just hilarious on so many different levels.
Rust.
Oxidation of metals is a serious problem. Thankfully, these people are apparently working on not one, nor even two, but in fact several methods to prevent this horrible malady from troubling humankind much longer. Thank God someone was, I’d begun to give up hope.
Click for larger version
It’s as if several newspapers all vomited simultaneously onto one piece of clothing. Despite the disarray of text, some of the phrases are rather encouraging, though. I’ve always enjoyed “watching time go right out the window.” In fact, that’s been a pastime of mine for a great many years now. On the other hand, I would disagree with the statement that “dawn is loved most by everyone.” Dawn has actually been a vicious enemy of my sleep for many years.
Hmm…“trying to hold ON but didn’t even know.” Kind of reminds me of the Darker than Black OP, somehow. I also couldn’t help but laugh at the “Segregate me” line…which is conveniently in bright letters and apart from the rest of the text.
ALL THE PEOPLE DESIRE PEACEFUL
STANDARDBEARER
I’ve been referred to as a master by some, a master of lethargy and caffeine addiction, but a master nonetheless. Sometimes I feel it is important to let others know of my mastery, and the fame contained therein. Also, peaceful is a strong desire for…well, everyone apparently. But wait, how can one be a famousmaster and a standard bearer at the same time? It boggles the mind.
Or maybe that’s the lesson - we’re all famous…in a standard kind of way.
There is a Difference
Don’t you hate it when people group various and sundry wrenches together as though they were identical, even though they clearly are not? Man, that really pisses me off! Morons confusing monkey wrenches with socket wrenches, or socket wrenches with ring spanners; that’s just unacceptable as far as I’m concerned. Thankfully, the good people at Uniqlo share in our collective frustration. Now everyone will know that categorically “there is a difference.” There is no excuse now, you keep those damn wrenches in order, you hear me?
Oh man, good ol’ Uniqlo! I don’t know where I’d be without it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Uniqlo, it’s kind of the Anchor Blue of Japan - good discount clothing chain with lots of variety. I pretty much bought all my threads there while I was in Japan, and to this day those are some of the most comfortable clothes I own.
Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention this shirt, spotted on a clothing rack in Shibuya. Sorry about the image quality; I was in a hurry at the time and snapped the photo while on the run…
Crime Pays In Mad Ways
Luxury taxes can be expensive. In fact, they can be so obtrusive that they may very well prevent you from obtaining your bling. Why let those governmental charlatans misappropriate your hard earned kane? Theft is far more cost effective. Remember kids, nothing is quite as cheap as “free.”
Crime evidently does in fact pay, and not only does it pay, but it does so in a maddening fashion. Well played, indeed.
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anyways for you guys to send these shirts over here?
The next I go for Japan, sure to stopping by clothing shop. Happy times I will have for interesting shirt. Thanking for great pictures.
I like the cow, pig and chicken ones.
mm.. cannibalism…
Crime does indeed pay in mad ways and (as anyone who’s worked in private dentistry can tell you) a tooth is very important (though I’d rather value all my teeth). Thanks for these, you’ve brightened my morning considerably.
lol Noobs, that shirt with the splatter of English on it is quoting a whole bunch of song lyrics. For example, the two phrases you quote (the blue ones at the bottom right corner of the photo) are from Linkin Park’s In the End, and the “segregate me” line is from Def Leppard’s Turn to Dust, along with the blue “Slave or sympathy” and “Still we rise to fall” text at the top of the shirt.
Apart from your noobness in English music (admittedly, the choice of lines are pretty random, and not everyone listens to those bands), great post. I need one of those animal shirts for my vegetarian friends, and nice to see Pedobear showing Ronald who the REAL paedophile is!
@ Lupus
Actually I was aware of the lyrics, I just loathe both of those bands (especially Linkin Park). However, duly noted on the Ronald comment. He is indeed the one most deserving of a face-clawing.
I was actually not aware that those lower right side lines were quotes from In The End, but I believe the advantage still goes to me. If anything, it’s proof that I have greater respect for myself and my ears by not needlessly subjecting to them to the horrendous aural rape masquerading under the guise of “music” otherwise known as Linkin Park.
But good job equating all English music to a shite nu rock band.
Blahaha. I’m sure my veggie-lesbian flatmate would sneer approvingly of the animal cannibal ones. Vegetarians do tend to sneer a lot, after all.
I’d be too terrified to attend anything PETA related, let alone with my tongue in my cheek wearing an ironic t-shirt. South Park has warped and scarred me for life in that respect… : (
Also: *high fives Orion for using the word ’shite’*
You know, if the shirt read “Impotent” rather than whatever engrish it is, it might be even better. Oh well, we have to make do sometimes, yes?
haha, Uniqlo! I should’ve scourged that shop while I had the chance, and spot some “nice” shirts too lol.
the cow, chicken and pig ones remind me of PETA’s campaign stuff, like this one sticker I had, with a picture of a chick that states “I am not a nugget”. But then the chick there was looking all happy that I don’t think it delivers the message effectively lol.
I guess another example of these shirts could be Aya Hirano’s shirt from one of her concerts… the pink “Did you cum twice too? Feel so dirty!!! I need a tongue bath!” one.
Those animal shirts are freaking cute. I’d love to buy the cow one.
I need to ask my sister current studying abroad in Japan to see if she can get me some awesome shirts like that. “Don’t be a Dick, YOU BANANA” indeed.
Those animal ones are awesome, but that tax and luxury one reminds me of Monopoly. I love the Ronald McDonald one, and am reminded of this weird McDonald game I had for my knockoff Nintendo as a kid. It was hard as heck (back then), and you had to throw tomato bombs or something to kill wildlife and the Hamburgler.
I tried searching for Gokigen Factory, but apparently I am worse at searching than Pheles.
Anyone here tried eating a beaver before? O.o
That shirt filled with lyrics is so full of words mashed together, I became lazy to even try to read it.
How many of those shirts did you guys actually bought?
Good, Someone FINALLY got around to saying that there is a difference between spanners and wrenches alike.
I would love to have some of them shirts, Especially that Lyric one. Not for the lyrics, But the shirt looks so comfortable.
The animalo ones look hardcore, I love love to own one off them. I bet there are many more like that.
I’ve got to keep my eyes our for clothing when I go to Japan in a few years. I shan’t forget this post. NEVAR.
OMFGLOL I just laughed so hard in the first time since…oh wait I watch anime.
Orion is BANANA!!!
ewwww linkin park
and yes there is A DIFFERENCE…jesus ive been telling failures for years
oh and check out the engrish.com clothing section if you want to see some more funny ones. this is by FAR my favorite:
Baby Shirt
“Crime pays in mad ways,” so true…now look away while I steal that shirt lol.
I saw the cannibalism t-shirts when I was in Tokyo in August! A few years ago, I bought a shirt from Nakano Broadway which had a picture of a dog’s outline divided up into meat cuts. Love those wacky Japanese shirts.
“Crime pays in mad ways”
Does that have something to do with fansubs?
Pedo bear clawing Ronald, eh? Wouldn’t mind getting that shirt myself.