On the 3rd Day of Christmas my true love gave to me…

3 rain charms

2 Guchuko’s
And a cruise on a nice boat for free!

If I were list out the Top Ten Things I Want For Christmas, a Chiaki teru teru bouzu figure would definitely rank right up near the top.

Really, Minami-ke as a whole has been one of the few bright rays of comedy sunshine in an otherwise relatively drab season. With the end of both Lucky Star and Potemayo, I was desperately in need of a worthy replacement, and so far it rather nicely fills the hole left by both series.

It has a bit of Lucky Star’s “I totally know the feeling” slice-of-life humor, a bit of Potemayo’s over-the-top physical comedy, and a healthy portion of wackiness all it’s own. And also Mako-cakes, but that’s a whole ‘nother story.

So if you could get your own custom made figure, any character, any pose – what would you go for?

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Minami-ke’s Kana-chan apparently thinks that she is boss.

And certainly, in addition to frequently bending Chiaki to her will, she seems to have the show’s male cast pretty well under her thumb.

What she does not realize, however, is that someone else has already laid claim to that title:

NO ME

As a matter of fact, SUNTORY BOSS is actually the real boss. And not just the usual garden variety “hit their weak point three times” kind of boss, either. He’s the boss of them all, and apparently has been since 1992.

Sorry Kana, looks like you lose this one.

Image used with permission from Vong Yonghow @ Halcyon Realms.

Also Tommy Lee Jones is boss.

That rainbow blend is serious business. I mean, for being a rainbow it sure looks tough and indimidating, like the beverage itself could kick your ass. Or be your boss. It’s also pretty tasty.

Also Tommy Lee Jones will be supremely disappointed if you do not purchase refreshing and delicious Suntory™ brand beverages. I mean, he just looks so distraught at the thought that you might not be drinking refreshing and delicious Suntory™ beverages right now.

In fact, you should probably go out and get some refreshing and delicious Suntory™ beverages immediately, just in case. You might make Tommy Lee Jones upset, otherwise. And you don’t want to see that.

Whoa whoa, hey, don’t go overboard! We only got paid enough to say the name once. I mean, uh…oops…

You didn’t see anything.

Anyway, so here in America we have these “truth in advertising” laws that requires advertising claims to be more or less factual. In Japan, however, they have no compunctions about making bold, grandiose statements like this.

It’s actually an interesting insight into how the culture works – rather than being caught up in percentages or scientific study findings, advertising generally focuses on creating a certain vibe. Thus, ads frequently make humorously bombastic claims, often in English. It’s not so much a statement of fact as it is a way of projecting the right image and feeling, which is what sells in Japan. Plus, half the time people aren’t quite sure what the English means anyway, so they can get away with saying pretty much whatever they want.

The “SUNTORY BOSS” photo above is what these BOSS vending machines look like from the front; the earlier photo was the side view. They’re pretty much everywhere in Japan. I used to see them every day on my walk to work.

One other interesting general tidbit to note about vending machines in Japan is the little recycling bin next to the machine. Most Japanese people, especially the older generations, consider it somewhat rude to eat or drink while walking. It’s pretty common to see a salaryman buy a drink and then stand there and drink it on the spot, thus the recycling bin comes in really handy, especially since the Japanese don’t seem to believe in putting just regular old trashcans in public places.

That’s also another reason why the drink sizes are so small and wee; it makes them easy to finish in one go.

And yes, Tommy Lee Jones is the Muteki Kanban Musuko for Suntory, and has been for a long long time.

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