Well it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and although this is most assuredly due to my laziness, it’s not entirely accurate to say that I’ve been doing nothing but loafing about drinking shochu and watching anime during the punishing summer months here in Japan. Not entirely accurate.

Anyway, what I’m planning to do is share some of my more interesting adventures during my time here. I’ll have leave the serious discussion on the finer points of Japan’s rich cultural heritage to 0rion; my tales will serve as more of a series of facepalm inducing incidents.

So I met Yotsuba the other day, as in IRL.

I was sitting in the cafe area at the local DOMY supermarket, minding my own business, enjoying some of their scrumptious yet very reasonably priced salmon nigirizushi. In the background I could hear the sound of a kid running about shouting something about “okashi” (candy).

As the sounds drew closer, it became apparent that the voice belonged to a small child approximately five years of age. As she entered into the cafe area, which I need to stress is just a couple of tables and chairs seated next to some vending machines within the store, her eyes met with a horrible sight. Namely, my face. Read the rest of this entry »

After Endless Eight (Episode 1)

After Endless Eight (Episode 2)

After Endless Eight (Episode 3) Read the rest of this entry »

It’s been a while since our last humorous entry, and we haven’t talked about Japan much since our post about Junky Healthy Taco Rice and other fun Engrish stuff, so we thought a good way to kill two birds with one stone would be to show you guys some of the funny Engrish-style T-shirts those crazy Japanese have cooked up.

Dental hygiene is of extremely great in portance in Japan. Whilst I was perusing the various and sundry clothing shops scattered throughout Harajuku, I came upon this incredible shirt. It’s awfully rare to find a T-shirt that so unilaterally implores others to follow societal mores, really. Come to think of it, I think teeth are often undervalued in our society…well, or maybe that’s just England?

Nevertheless, it serves as a good reminder. Also, check out that bad tooth – do all cavities have such a huge bite taken out of them? Thankfully, they provided three standard teeth to allow for comparison. Gosh, I love this shirt so much. Read the rest of this entry »

RAMPAGING HIT-N-RUN TRUCK

Description: This deranged killer has been sighted in a number of different anime attempting to run down innocent pedestrians in the road. The majority of the victims are female, usually young, and usually distracted from the oncoming peril by some form of emotional trauma as they run blindly into the road.

Methodology: The killer is known to frequently honk his horn just prior to viciously running down his victim. If the kill attempt is unsuccessful, usually the result of a last second flying tackle executed by the nearest relative or osananajimi, the driver has also been known to yell at the intended victim before speeding away, in an attempt to intimidate or otherwise convince them that the incident is somehow their own fault for running into the street.

Witnesses have reported that there are no attempts to brake or take any evasive action, nor does the driver slow down or stop afterward. This a clearly the work of a deranged serial hit-and-run murderer. Be warned: this killer strikes without warning, and can appear at any time, in any anime.

If you have sighted the truck in question, please notify the authorities immediately. This renegade psychopath must be stopped at all costs.

In celebration of the true Christmas spirit (i.e. mindless consumerism), I was pondering what manner of gifts I could ask Santa for. Unfortunately, I don’t really collect figures or other miscellaneous anime merchandise. I do, however, have something of a soft spot for cute plushies.

Yeah plushies, you heard me. Shut up; stop snickering. I love my Mokonas. And I’m still more manly than the combined cast of Gundam 00.

Sadly, most of the things I want as plushies either don’t exist, or aren’t available yet. D:

Thus, in the hopes that Santa Claus will take pity and have his elves craft a couple just for me, I present to you my Christmas Top 10 Plushie Wish List: Read the rest of this entry »

Or how I learned to stop worrying and love the bomb internet.

It’s all over. The end is nigh.

Third Impact, Haruhimageddon, Heaven’s Gate, the Anti-Spiral Apocalypse, the Wrath of the Ohmu, the Coming of Akira – call it whatever you want, but the message is clear.

It’s the end of the world as we know it, and anime is dead. Read the rest of this entry »

Minami-ke’s Kana-chan apparently thinks that she is boss.

And certainly, in addition to frequently bending Chiaki to her will, she seems to have the show’s male cast pretty well under her thumb.

What she does not realize, however, is that someone else has already laid claim to that title:

NO ME

As a matter of fact, SUNTORY BOSS is actually the real boss. And not just the usual garden variety “hit their weak point three times” kind of boss, either. He’s the boss of them all, and apparently has been since 1992.

Sorry Kana, looks like you lose this one. Read the rest of this entry »

Every year Hiatus Disease claims the lives of thousands of blogs. In fact, it is the leading cause of blog mortality worldwide.

It can quickly turn fatal if left untreated, and thus should be taken extremely seriously. If you or someone you know may be suffering from Hiatus Disease, don’t wait. Seek professional help immediately.

Fortunately, Hiatus Disease is almost always treatable if diagnosed in time, and the long term impairment effects are usually minimal. Even if you have not contracted Hiatus Disease, you may still be at risk. Learn about the symptoms and take the short quiz below to find out whether you should be concerned.

This young girl is currently battling against the ravages of Hiatus Disease. Don’t let yourself end up like this. Read the rest of this entry »

As tj_han recently demonstrated, among the subset of otaku known as “anime bloggers” there exist further subgroups which can be used for classification. Unfortunately, his list omitted a number of significant subtypes, which I feel are important to properly identify.

The same disclaimer applies here – all classifications and examples used in this article are entirely fictional. Any resemblance to real persons or blogs is purely coincidental. Even if they have the same name and URL.

The Weeaboo

“ZOMG Japan is t3h CHOU SUGOI! I am more awesomer than u because I have been there and u have not!”

The Weeaboo blogger is a rabid fan of any and all things Japanese. He has usually visited Japan at least once and can speak some measure of Japanese. He declaims passionately about anything related to Japanese culture, and brooks no argument from those who he views as possessing inferior weeaboo qualifications (i.e. – have not personally visited Akihabara). He can frequently be seen employing phrases such as “Well my Japanese friend said that…” or “Actually in Japan it’s like this…”

Epic Win is a classic Weeaboo.

Note that upon reaching level 42, The Weeaboo may evolve into its third stage evolution: Read the rest of this entry »

That’s right, Ghetto Happy Dining…and
of course it’s a really posh restaurant.

As a nation, Japan is absolutely fascinated with the English language. They give their products English names to make them sound foreign and exotic, they brand them using Roman letters to give them that distinctive trendy look, and they wear T-shirts with phrases that look as though they were produced by having a blindfolded person point to a series random words in a dictionary.

It wasn’t that long ago that learning a foreign language was looked upon with a great deal of suspicion. During Japan’s more isolationist days, anyone who spoke English too well was viewed as un-Japanese, something of a renegade. Now that the Japanese have really opened up to the west, however, they seem determined to make up for lost time by using and abusing the language in every way conceivably possible.

If you’ve ever traveled in Japan, you have no doubt seen the way English is plastered all over signs, advertisements, and T-shirts. The free-spirited brazenness with which it is used, unhindered by such petty things as “grammar”, makes linguists and English teachers around the world cringe in dismay, but it also provides plenty of entertainment for gaijin like myself.

Below is a sampling of a few of the things I ran into during my time in Japan that made me laugh. Read the rest of this entry »