It’s been quite a while indeed since my last post here, hasn’t it? To be honest, I had more or less given up on this whole blogging thing and considered closing up shop, leaving only the archives for the occasional Google visitor to peruse.

Fortunately, I decided not to throw in the towel just yet, and instead have cooked up several new and (hopefully) interesting posts that will be going up in the near future. Before I go any farther, I would be remiss if I didn’t give a big shout out to my friend ghostlightning, whose continual pestering and seemingly boundless creative energy was in large part what motivated me to start writing for Epic Win again. In between yelling in all caps about the outcome of the latest UFC event, or waxing eloquent about Rafael Nadal, he managed to infect me with his enthusiasm for blogging, and anime in general.

Also, for all of you who e-mailed asking about the blog, thank you so much for taking the time to contact me, and I apologize I wasn’t able to respond to all of you. I was genuinely surprised at the number of people who apparently enjoyed reading the content on this site and were willing to write up an e-mail asking us to come back.

To be fair, things have been pretty hectic this year with quite a few major transitions for me, and a few of them are worth mentioning.

First and foremost, I’d like to congratulate my erstwhile co-blogger Guff for receiving his TEFL credentials and having been accepted  into the JET program as a teacher. In a few weeks he’ll be shipping out to Tokyo for orientation, before moving on to his new residence in Hokkaido, where he’ll be teaching at a number of different schools in the region. Speaking as someone who previously taught English in Japan, I’m incredibly excited for him, as this is will no doubt be a very enriching and challenging once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

Second, although I previously posted about taking the JLPT level 2 exam this last December, I never got around to posting about the follow up results. I’m happy to say I passed with flying colors, doing especially well on the grammar and listening comprehension sections, so now all that remains is the final examination level – the daunting JLPT1. I’m under no illusions that I’ll be able to pass the level 1 test this coming December, but I am continuing to study when time allows, and hopefully can make a good attempt at it next year.

Finally, I had the chance to take another sightseeing trip in Japan this spring during the height of the sakura bloom, and I was able to visit some really interesting off-the-beaten-path locales that I’d love to post about when time allows. Most notably, I spent 3 days on Yakushima, a nearly uninhabited island several hours off the southern coast of Japan, which boasts some of the world’s most ancient and unspoiled cedar forests. As a photographer it was a dream come true, and once I finish sifting through the roughly 80 gigabytes of photos I took during my time there, I’ll definitely have one or more posts up recounting my experiences on the island.

(click for slightly larger version)

Well, if you’re still here reading this, thank you very much for hanging around and still visiting this site even after so long. It really means a lot to me, and I hope I can return the favor by bringing you guys some good new content in the coming weeks. Thanks again to the many readers who wrote me and to ghostlightning for the encouragement and much needed kick in the pants.

…and yes, I realize the second Matrix film was a disappointment. Hopefully referencing it in the title of this post won’t jinx me.

None Found

Well it’s been a while since I’ve posted anything, and although this is most assuredly due to my laziness, it’s not entirely accurate to say that I’ve been doing nothing but loafing about drinking shochu and watching anime during the punishing summer months here in Japan. Not entirely accurate.

Anyway, what I’m planning to do is share some of my more interesting adventures during my time here. I’ll have leave the serious discussion on the finer points of Japan’s rich cultural heritage to 0rion; my tales will serve as more of a series of facepalm inducing incidents.

So I met Yotsuba the other day, as in IRL.

I was sitting in the cafe area at the local DOMY supermarket, minding my own business, enjoying some of their scrumptious yet very reasonably priced salmon nigirizushi. In the background I could hear the sound of a kid running about shouting something about “okashi” (candy).

As the sounds drew closer, it became apparent that the voice belonged to a small child approximately five years of age. As she entered into the cafe area, which I need to stress is just a couple of tables and chairs seated next to some vending machines within the store, her eyes met with a horrible sight. Namely, my face.

Now, children in Japan usually have one of two reactions when seeing me – either utter despair, or profound curiosity which then quickly descends into glowering disapproval.

They are either perplexed and besotten with sadness as to how God could allow for such an opprobrious creature to exist, or they are disappointed that some responsible adult has not already taken care of removing this affront from their presence. Either way the reaction is usually not positive.

Let me just say that I can absolutely corroborate this fact. I have, on at least a half dozen occasions, seen Japanese children so stunned at Guff’s mere visage that they literally stop in their tracks.

Some even faceplant on the ground, they are so shocked at the sight of this strange and alien being. Yes, small Japanese children tend to be surprised by any sudden encounter with a foreigner, but Guff is a special case deserving of an even more dramatic reaction.

Oh, and if I speak Japanese to them… well, that just completely eviscerates their fragile universe. All in all, it’s a bad day for everyone concerned. This situation, however, was different.

As the young child looked up at me she drew a deep breath. I was preparing for a horrified scream, so I quickly turned around, but instead I was met with a rather cheerful shout of, “DO YOU REALLY LIKE TEA?!”

“What…? Tea… what is she talking about?” I thought to myself.

Then I remembered that I had purchased some oolong tea earlier. Like a simpleton I pointed to it and said with much trepidation, “Uhh, yes, I like tea very much.”

“WOW, THAT’S AMAZING!” the child replied in earnest.

“HEY, do you know how to use this machine?” she asked, pointing to the adjacent drink dispenser. Although I had previously used the machine in question, I thought that I had better play the stupid foreigner, a role that I unintentionally perform exceedingly well, and replied with, “No, not at all, can you please show me?”

“OF COURSE!” she chirped, “IT’S REALLY EASY!”

“OK, first… first you get a cup! Then you put it here and push this button… and then it starts as water but then it TURNS INTO TEA!”

I watched with great attentiveness as this miracle took place before my eyes; indeed the machine did produce tea.

“Actually it’s not very cold but… IT’S REALLY GOOD!” she said after taking a rather large gulp.

I need to stress that the child did not say “oishii” or even “umai”.

Instead, she yelled out “UM~EE!”, a somewhat masculine and very slangy way to refer to something as tasty. After she had finished her explanation she wished me a hearty “JA NEE~!” and departed the store. I could hear her mother mildly scolding her as they exited, “You shouldn’t bother people like that…”

“I WAS HELPING HIM!” she shouted off in the distance.

Truer words have never been spoken.

-Guff out

None Found

Somehow the discussion from a couple days ago about Tokyo Tower inspired ghostlightning to comment that the tower somehow possessed some kind of moe quality to it:

.

“I find it interesting, within the context of usagijen’s post and the comment that inspired it how your photo is from a vantage point that’s higher than the Tokyo Tower itself. It’s as it it’s small, or diminished and is now being defended for reals, because it needs to be. The tower is somehow… moe.”

Well, leave it to regular Epic Win guest artist jupeboxgal to go and actually turn that completely random concept into a reality. While somewhat bizarre, much like the original comment that spawned the idea, this picture is entirely too awesome to not post about. So, here it is, Tokyo Tower-tan. Ain’t she adorable?

Now we just need somebody to make a corresponding image in response to usagijen’s comment:

“Now if Tokyo Tower is moe, as ghostlightning said in your post, then Mt.Fuji might as well be its GAR counterpart”

None Found

Greetings all,

So I’m back in Japan again, here to take up my Japanese studies once more. This time I’m staying in Okazaki City actually, with a very nice host family who for some inane reason has decided to not only tolerate my presence but also supply me with delicious foodstuffs.  The Sugimoto family have been marvelous hosts and also assisted greatly in answering my endless barrage of questions about Japanese grammar.

Okazaki is quite a peaceful place, which is nice for contemplative reflection whilst sitting outdoors…

…or at least it would be if not for the ceaseless, deafening assault of noise from the hideously massive 蝉　(せみ cicadas) that have installed a veritable cicada Disneyland in the tree outside my bedroom window.  At 6 AM sharp every morning they are open for business, and lately business has been booming.

Editor’s Note: The photo above actually has nothing to do with Okazaki other than being somewhere in the same Japanese prefecture, but since Guff is a lazy bum and didn’t send me any pictures to work with, I was forced to wing it. -_-

Also, for reference Okazaki is located in Aichi Prefecture, which is roughly in the middle of the Honshu island, about 2/3s of the way along the train line the goes from Tokyo to Kyoto.

Ok, back to your regularly scheduled Guff…

The city is also categorically lacking in two crucial retail elements: a well supplied bakery and a reputable tobacconist.  I’m not sure how the city planners managed to carry out such a gross oversight, but as a result I have been forced to take the train to Nagoya in order to indulge in my various vices. At least it gives me an excuse to take in another city on the weekends, so it’s really not so bad.

I hit up the Mandarake in Nagoya last weekend and was able to procure this (out of print!) marvelous tome of artistic bliss! Also this. And this. Sometimes, things like personal bankruptcy seem like such an easily avoidable calamity, but in terms of artbooks I can see how it could happen quite easily.

In addition, there was a Gundam Event (as in Original Mobile Suit not blasphemous, apocryphal permutations that screw around for an eternity with pathetically emo lead male characters)  in Nagoya this weekend that I hit up.

Also, as a bit of free advertisement, the school I’m studying at is a non-profit organization called the Yamasa Institute.  If you want to “power level” your Japanese, this is a useful place to do so.

That’s about it really.  My graduate thesis has been horribly languishing due to distractions with Japanese school work and the punishing summertime heat, but other than that I really can’t complain at all. Now all I need to do is find a job so I can stay here and never go back.

Guff out.

None Found

(Click for larger version)

This post is in response to usagijen’s article / mini-rant about Tokyo Tower and aesthetics in general, which was itself inspired by a comment on ghostlightning’s latest Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 post where someone referred to Tokyo Tower as “overrrated”.

Both are highly recommended reading, by the way, whether you’ve been watching Tokyo Magnitude or not. Her post really helped remind me just what a significant place Tokyo Tower holds in Japanese history, as both a visual landmark and a symbolic one.

From her article:

“As for Tokyo Tower, well let’s just say I gained much more appreciation for it after watching the AWSUM movie ALWAYS ~Sunset on Third Street~, as I witnessed how this landmark became the pillar of hope back in the 1950s where people are starting out a new life after the war. It was a sign of a new era in Japan — an era of hopes and dreams, an era of a bright future (a bright ‘mirai’).

They built Tokyo Tower with the ambition of making it the TALLEST tower in the world, and other towers might have ‘outgrown’ it now, but you can’t take away the fact that it was successful back in its time. Having known its significance made me all the more realize that TOKYO TOWER IS BEAUTIFUL.”

While Tokyo Tower is a bit dated by today’s standards, and while it’s kind of a rip-off of the Eiffel Tower, you certainly can’t deny its major cultural significance. Even from just a purely visual, aesthetic standpoint, I still find it quite beautiful. In typical Japanese fashion, they even modify the lighting to different colors seasonally or during certain events to help give the skyline a different look.

Speaking of giving Tokyo a different look, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 has been a really interesting show for me;  I hope to write more in depth about it soon. The really interesting thing, though, has been seeing the kinds of reactions it produces in others. It seems like the series really tries very intentionally to tell its story in a way that provokes a reaction from the viewer, whether toward the circumstances or toward the characters, and I think that’s what you can attribute much of its success to.

Oh, one thing that did always bother me when looking at Tokyo Tower, by the way, was the fact that even from as far away as the Mori Tower in Roppongi, which is where the above picture was taken from, I could still see the incessant flashes from the Tokyo Tower observation deck of tourists snapping photographs. I mean, seriously? Were you expecting to light up all of freaking Tokyo with your little point and shoot digicam? I know some of these new Japanese models are pretty powerful, but come on now folks.

If anything, it’s just going to produce a lot of unnecessary glare and serve to ruin the exposures of other nearby photographers. I guess I’m just jaded because I see so many people now with digital cameras who don’t know the first thing about how to operate their camera or how to take a decent photograph. Without so much as a thought about lighting, composition, or shutter speeds, they just run around blithely snapping away, stunning their photographic subjects into submission with the blinding power of their xenon flashbulbs.

OK, OK, I’m done ranting. Hope you guys liked the photo. If anyone is interested, I could probably made a desktop wallpaper version, too.

None Found

It’s been a while since our last humorous entry, and we haven’t talked about Japan much since our post about Junky Healthy Taco Rice and other fun Engrish stuff, so we thought a good way to kill two birds with one stone would be to show you guys some of the funny Engrish-style T-shirts those crazy Japanese have cooked up.

Dental hygiene is of extremely great in portance in Japan. Whilst I was perusing the various and sundry clothing shops scattered throughout Harajuku, I came upon this incredible shirt. It’s awfully rare to find a T-shirt that so unilaterally implores others to follow societal mores, really. Come to think of it, I think teeth are often undervalued in our society…well, or maybe that’s just England?

Nevertheless, it serves as a good reminder. Also, check out that bad tooth – do all cavities have such a huge bite taken out of them? Thankfully, they provided three standard teeth to allow for comparison. Gosh, I love this shirt so much.

Ordinary Japanese people of all ages can be seen everywhere with hilarious T-shirts like this – everyone from teenagers to salarymen to middle-aged housewives. I’ve even seen little kids with shirts like these, some of which made some, ahh…rather bold statements. And of course, neither they nor their parents had any idea of the meaning.

In fact, most of the them have absolutely no clue what the shirts they’re wearing say. Take this guy, for example:

Don’t be a Dick, YOU BANANA

Seriously, don’t do it. Actually, I’m not sure whether to be more insulted that he’s calling me a dick or that he’s calling me a banana.

A few more horribly overpriced but funny random shirts spotted while shopping in Harajuku:

Bear hate Ronald! Katakana reads: “Bear Claw”

Well, I honestly never thought I’d find myself cheering on pedobear. Seriously though, it’s about time someone taught that freakish clown some manners. Serves him right for peddling carcinogenic foodstuffs to innocent, unwitting children.

Much like Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei, several of these shirts employed somewhat dark, morbid humor to great effect.

.

.

I’d love to wear one of these things to a PETA meeting; I’m thinking it might cause the members to lighten up a bit.

.

.

Yeah…either that or they’d kill you on the spot. And considering the near-rabid nature of most of the PETA members I’ve know, I’m leaning toward the latter, really.

OK, now for a few of the shirts we’ve bought in Japan:

Save a Tree, Eat a Beaver!

Not quite Engrish, per se, but humorous enough that I thought it warranted sharing. I spotted this on the rack at one of the many tiny clothing shops in Harajuku and bought it on the spot. I couldn’t resist; it’s just hilarious on so many different levels.

Rust.

Oxidation of metals is a serious problem. Thankfully, these people are apparently working on not one, nor even two, but in fact several methods to prevent this horrible malady from troubling humankind much longer. Thank God someone was, I’d begun to give up hope.

Click for larger version

It’s as if several newspapers all vomited simultaneously onto one piece of clothing. Despite the disarray of text, some of the phrases are rather encouraging, though. I’ve always enjoyed “watching time go right out the window.” In fact, that’s been a pastime of mine for a great many years now. On the other hand, I would disagree with the statement that “dawn is loved most by everyone.” Dawn has actually been a vicious enemy of my sleep for many years.

Hmm…“trying to hold ON but didn’t even know.” Kind of reminds me of the Darker than Black OP, somehow. I also couldn’t help but laugh at the “Segregate me” line…which is conveniently in bright letters and apart from the rest of the text.

ALL THE PEOPLE DESIRE PEACEFUL
STANDARDBEARER

I’ve been referred to as a master by some, a master of lethargy and caffeine addiction, but a master nonetheless. Sometimes I feel it is important to let others know of my mastery, and the fame contained therein. Also, peaceful is a strong desire for…well, everyone apparently. But wait, how can one be a famousmaster and a standard bearer at the same time? It boggles the mind.

Or maybe that’s the lesson – we’re all famous…in a standard kind of way.

There is a Difference

Don’t you hate it when people group various and sundry wrenches together as though they were identical, even though they clearly are not? Man, that really pisses me off! Morons confusing monkey wrenches with socket wrenches, or socket wrenches with ring spanners; that’s just unacceptable as far as I’m concerned. Thankfully, the good people at Uniqlo share in our collective frustration. Now everyone will know that categorically “there is a difference.” There is no excuse now, you keep those damn wrenches in order, you hear me?

Oh man, good ol’ Uniqlo! I don’t know where I’d be without it. For those of you who aren’t familiar with Uniqlo, it’s kind of the Anchor Blue of Japan – good discount clothing chain with lots of variety. I pretty much bought all my threads there while I was in Japan, and to this day those are some of the most comfortable clothes I own.

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention this shirt, spotted on a clothing rack in Shibuya. Sorry about the image quality; I was in a hurry at the time and snapped the photo while on the run…

Crime Pays In Mad Ways

Luxury taxes can be expensive. In fact, they can be so obtrusive that they may very well prevent you from obtaining your bling. Why let those governmental charlatans misappropriate your hard earned kane? Theft is far more cost effective. Remember kids, nothing is quite as cheap as “free.”

Crime evidently does in fact pay, and not only does it pay, but it does so in a maddening fashion. Well played, indeed.

None Found

This year I decided to forego the usual western customs in favor of following a more Japanese approach to celebrating the New Year. Fortunately for me, the Japanese community in Los Angeles puts on quite a celebration on the first few days of the year, with traditional food, music, and dancing.

After enjoying the first sunrise of the year (hatsuhinode), I headed down to Little Tokyo to catch the festivities (and buy some manga, of course). They had stages set up for various performances at both Weller Court in front of the Kinokuniya bookstore, as well in the Japanese Village Plaza, pictured below.

Among the many performances of the day, this was my by far my favorite. As you can see, it was an ensemble performing traditional Japanese music and dances, but it was composed of both traditional instruments (shamisen and drums), as well a bit of a more modern touch (electric guitar and bass). The performers were all fabulous, especially this young lady who did several types of traditional dance and seemed to be quite the pro.

This guy playing the electric guitar was pretty cool, if a bit odd looking. I talked to him for a while after the show and he really reminded me of Ryuusuke from Beck.

Bon Odori (Bon dance) at the stage in Weller Court.

In addition to the regular Bon Odori, they also had several guys who did some awesome breakdancing while wearing traditional Japanese garb and dancing to traditional music. It really reminded me of how Little Tokyo and the Japanese who live here are a perfect example of blending old and new ideas. They celebrate their Japanese culture and heritage, but they like to do it in very American ways oftentimes.

They had a lot of fun getting the crowd involved and trying to teach the gaijin how to do a Bon dance, as well.

Also, as a random sidenote, in the very upper right of the frame is the local Curry House, one of my favorite places to eat down here in Little Tokyo, with Orochon Ramen (on the third floor out of the shot) being a close second. Man, I love their chashuu ramen.

In addition to the various performances, they had guys pounding mochi, stalls selling the usual festival goodies like yakisoba and takoyaki, and just generally a great festive atmosphere. It also was not nearly as crowded as your average “real” Japanese festival. And by “not nearly as crowded”, I mean that I was still able go in the direction I wanted while in the middle of the crowd, whereas usually you don’t have much of a choice – you go wherever the crowd is going. I’m sure the guys who just got back from Comiket can attest to that.

This lady, with her amazing kimono, very kindly agreed to pose for me. I only wish I could’ve done the shoot at a better location. <_<

Another of the traditional New Year’s Day activities in Japan is the first temple visit of the year (hatsumoude). I went mainly because they give out free spiced sake with gold flakes in it on the first day of the year.

After trying some, I really wished I could’ve found out what kind it was, because it was daaaang good, too. Some sort of junmai ginjo, but I couldn’t tell anything beyond that.

While I was there I went ahead and got an omikuji (fortune slip) as well, which says that my luck for the year is good and that I will have success in finance but fail in love. Yeah, that sounds about right. >_>

While I’m at it, here’s a quick tour of some of the more interesting spots in Little Tokyo (and by interesting, I mean you can get anime goods). First and foremost is the local Kinokuniya, one of only 6 in the United States, and the largest of the ones I’ve visited. This is the premier spot to get manga and artbooks, especially Japanese language imports, which is what I’m primarily interested in. They stock pretty much everything imaginable, they’re really fast about getting new releases in, and if they don’t have it they can order it for you free of charge.

Today I was happy to see that they had several new manga I wanted, including the latest Yotsubato! tankouban (manga book), number 7 in the series. Woohoo! The prices are also quite excellent, ranging from 3 to 6 dollars for a tankouban; in other words, generally equal to the price in yen listed on the back. This is a huge improvement over the English translated equivalents, which are usually twice as expensive. Being able to read Japanese has really saved my wallet, I gotta say!

Kamikaze Anime is the smallest of the three anime related stores in Little Tokyo, but they’ve found a nice niche, with a good selection of import games and Japanese T-shirts, as well as lots of hard to find out-of-print manga.

Anime Jungle has two locations in Little Tokyo. The one pictured here deals also exclusively in figures and similar goods like plushies, posters, doujins, and other fairly rare items. I don’t really collect figures, did from what I’ve seen they’re pretty good about getting the latest hot releases in stock, although they don’t last very long.

Their second location across the street has a greater variety, including lots of OSTs, cosplay items, and gothloli stuff.

All in all, between these four shops and the various other stores scattered around the area, there’s not too much that you can’t find here.

I have to say, the Japanese really know how to celebrate the New Year right. I haven’t been to too many of the festivals down in Little Tokyo, but all of the ones I have been to have been an absolute blast. If you’re anywhere near the LA area, consider coming down during August for the other major festivals of the year, Obon.

* Photos used with permission from the subjects.

None Found

Yet another case of a young child trying to murder a sleeping parent. This time it was a 13 year old boy in Osaka who clubbed his father over the head with a bat while he was sleeping.

From the Mainichi news article:

“My dad is always telling me off and he bashes me about once a month. Dad’s always playing pachinko and I thought it was unfair that it’s always me who’s getting told off,” the boy told the police.

Police said that on early Monday the boy belted his sleeping father to the head with a metal baseball bat, bruising his head and breaking his fingers. The boy ran off but was found at a nearby convenience store about 30 minutes later. When he admitted to attacking his father, mistakenly believing he had killed him, officers took him into custody.

In response to the incident, TV Tokyo has announced that they will pull episode 12 of the animated series Sketchbook ~full color’S~, replacing its timeslot with a filler segment entitled “Nice Cats”. The show was reportedly canceled due to a violent scene in the episode involving one girl hitting another on the head with a puppet and saying, “Nandeyanen!”

OK, just kidding about that last part. But on a more serious note, these murder (or in this case, attempted murder) cases involving young children have been popping up more and more in the Japanese news recently. With these kinds of incidents seemingly on the rise, and given the national attention they garner, it’s only a matter of time before the usual talking heads and politicians start blaming violent video games and anime.

Already we’ve seen new forms of media censorship and potential restrictive legislation in reaction to similar previous incidents. While I hope that incidents like this never occur again, I also hope that this does not result in another wave of censorship and restrictions.

None Found

Amidst all the furor over Japan’s newly implemented policy of fingerprinting every foreigner entering or leaving the country, as I was reading through the various comments on different blogs and news sites there was one particular type of reaction that stood out to me.

Many people were making comments like “That’s too bad, I was thinking of taking a vacation to Japan, but now with all these things I’m hearing, maybe I should stay away.”

Now certainly, Japan is not the magical land of rainbows and ponies and gumdrop smiles that your average weeaboo imagines it to be. In fact, sometimes it looks pretty bad. But at the same time, it’s also not all doom and gloom, racism and xenophobia, which is the impression that many people seem to be getting from all of the recent negative press.

So let me just reiterate a very important point:

Japan is still a wonderful place to visit.

Japan is a beautiful country with a rich culture and heritage and some of the kindest, most hospitable people I have ever met. It has some of the most breathtaking sights, most delicious cuisine, and best entertainment anywhere. It is also arguably the safest countries in the world to travel in.

Matsumoto Castle

Yes, if you are not Japanese you will generally be treated differently. This doesn’t necessarily mean in a derogatory way, however. On the contrary, the Japanese generally go to extraordinary lengths to be accommodating to guests in their country.

In my own travels around Japan I have frequently had complete strangers go out of their way to help me, even when it wasn’t necessary. A few times I’ve even been shocked by people I just randomly struck up a conversation with buying me expensive gifts as a gesture of goodwill and welcome. These are not people in the service or tourist industries, but just regular folks. Honestly, I have never experienced the same level of hospitality anywhere else I have traveled, including my own country.

Sure, these new fingerprinting policies will mean more hassle for you in the airport, but as a temporary visitor you’ll probably never see any of the more unpleasant aspects of the gaijin experience. Even if you were to spend a year or two in Japan it’s unlikely that you’ll face much in the way of real serious racism during your time there. For the most part, only permanent resident foreigners ever really have to deal with the uglier aspects of Japan’s xenophobic policies.

There are plenty of people in Japan who are not racist.

Sure, you may experience cases of sabetsu (discrimination) from some people, and certainly from the government, but there are a great many Japanese who do not think that way. It’s deceptively easy to making sweeping generalizations about the Japanese because they have such a high degree of groupthink and cultural homogenization, so it’s important to remember that they are still individuals with their own beliefs and opinions.

I have met racist people and been discriminated against in Japan, but that was the exception, not the rule. While there are definitely xenophobic and nationalist attitudes in Japan that bother me, and while I won’t hesitate to stand up and denounce those attitudes when I see them, I don’t want you to be fooled into thinking that all of Japan is like that.

I’ve met many wonderful people and made some great friends in Japan.

So basically all of this to say, if you’re thinking of taking a trip to see Japan, or if you were considering working there for a year or two on a temporary visa – go for it! Japan is amazing. I would hate to see anyone turn away from the wonderful experiences and opportunities it affords just because of a few xenophobic policies.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m just as incensed about this whole fiasco as every other gaijin resident. Yes, I hate these new policies and the attitudes behind them. Yes, I hate cops who stop anyone foreign looking to question them. Yes, I hate landlords who outright refuse to rent to anyone who is not ethnic Japanese. More than all that, however, I still love Japan, and I hope you can learn to love it, too.

None Found

Minami-ke’s Kana-chan apparently thinks that she is boss.

And certainly, in addition to frequently bending Chiaki to her will, she seems to have the show’s male cast pretty well under her thumb.

What she does not realize, however, is that someone else has already laid claim to that title:

NO ME

As a matter of fact, SUNTORY BOSS is actually the real boss. And not just the usual garden variety “hit their weak point three times” kind of boss, either. He’s the boss of them all, and apparently has been since 1992.

Sorry Kana, looks like you lose this one.

Image used with permission from Vong Yonghow @ Halcyon Realms.

Also Tommy Lee Jones is boss.

That rainbow blend is serious business. I mean, for being a rainbow it sure looks tough and indimidating, like the beverage itself could kick your ass. Or be your boss. It’s also pretty tasty.

Also Tommy Lee Jones will be supremely disappointed if you do not purchase refreshing and delicious Suntory™ brand beverages. I mean, he just looks so distraught at the thought that you might not be drinking refreshing and delicious Suntory™ beverages right now.

In fact, you should probably go out and get some refreshing and delicious Suntory™ beverages immediately, just in case. You might make Tommy Lee Jones upset, otherwise. And you don’t want to see that.

Whoa whoa, hey, don’t go overboard! We only got paid enough to say the name once. I mean, uh…oops…

You didn’t see anything.

Anyway, so here in America we have these “truth in advertising” laws that requires advertising claims to be more or less factual. In Japan, however, they have no compunctions about making bold, grandiose statements like this.

It’s actually an interesting insight into how the culture works – rather than being caught up in percentages or scientific study findings, advertising generally focuses on creating a certain vibe. Thus, ads frequently make humorously bombastic claims, often in English. It’s not so much a statement of fact as it is a way of projecting the right image and feeling, which is what sells in Japan. Plus, half the time people aren’t quite sure what the English means anyway, so they can get away with saying pretty much whatever they want.

The “SUNTORY BOSS” photo above is what these BOSS vending machines look like from the front; the earlier photo was the side view. They’re pretty much everywhere in Japan. I used to see them every day on my walk to work.

One other interesting general tidbit to note about vending machines in Japan is the little recycling bin next to the machine. Most Japanese people, especially the older generations, consider it somewhat rude to eat or drink while walking. It’s pretty common to see a salaryman buy a drink and then stand there and drink it on the spot, thus the recycling bin comes in really handy, especially since the Japanese don’t seem to believe in putting just regular old trashcans in public places.

That’s also another reason why the drink sizes are so small and wee; it makes them easy to finish in one go.

And yes, Tommy Lee Jones is the Muteki Kanban Musuko for Suntory, and has been for a long long time.

None Found